Self Discovery
“And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.”
~Confucius
It’s February and fittingly, we are offered Candlemas and the groundhog allegory at the beginning of this month to coax us to ‘come out’ to meet the next steps of our personal journeys. In the Christian tradition, Candlemas is a ritual purification. The Gospel of Luke prophesized that one would not see death/darkness until he had seen the light/the Messiah. Likewise, in nature, we await with great anticipation, the emergence of the groundhog’s ‘light or shadow’ as predictive of the impending length of the winter season. How long will the gloom last? If darkness is seen, this land-beaver lumbers within to continue its hibernation. Nature will slow the groundhog’s metabolic rate to conserve its resources in preparation for new creative endeavors in the spring.
Symbolically, in both stories, seeing darkness demands further personal examination and introspection. We are energetic beings of light and information. We are meant to recognize our divine image, yet too often, we do not believe that we shine from within. We find great difficulty removing the shadows, the darkness, of our past.
I dare you to step forth today to honestly examine your present life. Do you ‘see the light’ or do you see only darkness? What, in your perception, lies on your horizon? Is your illusory glass half-full or half-empty? Which side of your coin is ‘up’? What is it that you see?
Maybe you have been feeling a bit down or lethargic because of gray winter days. You meet a friend for coffee. He asks the proverbial ‘how are you?’ question. You, quite honestly, answer “Oh, not that great”. Your thoughts instantaneously reflect on cold, short days…little sunshine…less exercise…more weight…fewer social events...maybe even despondency following the busy holiday season.
“How are you?” you ask in return. “Well” he begins, “just before Thanksgiving we found out that my long anticipated goal had been achieved. I was promoted to general manager at the store.”
“Wow”, you think, “life always seems to go his way. I wish I had his luck.”
“Then”, he continues, “last week, the owner announced that due to the dismal economy, our branch will be closed at the end of February. My wife was laid off in October from GM. Now this…”
Your body-mind will begin processing immediately. First, you will filter the statement through your own lens – your own understanding – your own ‘rose’ or dark-colored glasses. You will evaluate, very quickly, how to respond based on ‘gut’ instincts. Immediately you may surmise – ‘I was a jerk to share my own stuff before asking’… ‘That’s just wrong’… or ‘He is too good for that company anyway’… or ‘I’m glad I don’t have his luck’.
Despite your personal body-mind reaction or verbal response, it is your perception of the situation that becomes ‘the truth’ that you tell yourself. We each have had thousands of experiences that have shaped the way we ‘see’ the world. We have learned from family, friends, the neighborhood, colleagues, supervisors, our culture, even the world. If you never lost a job, this may not even ‘gut’ register as a challenge. (You’re smart. Get another job.) If you are the manager of a store, such an announcement may hit (‘kicked in the stomach’) closer to home. (Yikes, my revenue has been down for months.) If you are currently unemployed, your empathetic response (rapid, irregular heart beat or even nausea) may be even greater. (I know just how he feels.) Still, the event is the same. It is your body-mind perception of his situation that is different.
Just prior to my own cancer diagnosis in 2007, I had a disheartening career experience. The contract for a national project that I had passionately worked on for six years was terminated. It was inspiring work that had positively impacted the lives of more than 32,000 children across the country. It was also, unfortunately, subsidized by an American auto company. As their economic impact grew weaker, the project was jeopardized. Finally, after numerous cuts, the plug was pulled on the contract. In response, my employer very generously offered me another position in the company. Three weeks later, I received my diagnosis.
While I pondered my darkness, my crisis, the winds of change were already upon me. Yet, like a sailboat struggling to withstand a sudden storm, I clung desperately to the security of that job. It was one part of my life that I did not consider changing. Like the groundhog, I ‘holed up’ in my office. Slowly, over the next six months, my dis-comfort with the fit of the job became burdensome. The slowed metabolic rate of my work-life was overwhelming. As much as I enjoyed the comfortable income that it provided, my inability to feel creative or even intelligent was stifling. I felt that I was slowly ‘dying’. In March of the following year, after months of tenuously implementing my own healing protocols, I left the company to commit to more intense research towards understanding why people don’t heal – and how they can.
In retrospect, I now see the ending of that fabulous project as a beginning. I needed to be reminded that a single flame dispels all darkness. It was time for me to change the direction of my journey. The universe had symbolically ‘ended a contract’ with a light (my diagnosis) at the end of the tunnel. But, the contract’s ending was not a big enough push for me to see. I needed to feel truly uncomfortable – unhappy and in total darkness – before I was willing to set course in a new direction. I had been preparing while in 'hibernation'. Only then did spring arrive. Only then did my life begin to blossom again.
You are never without choices. Your glass is both half-full and half-empty. Only you can choose how it reflects you life’s circumstances. The energy of the universe is perfectly cyclical. Endings always lead to new beginnings. The splendor of autumn is followed annually by brown leaves and naked branches. The barren trees, however, do not simply brace to withstand cold, wintry days and fear an uncertain future. They take comfort in having time for preparation. Behind the scenes, they are planning, processing, and organizing for the emergence of buds and leaves - the new beginnings of spring.
Who are you today? Who do you want – or believe you can be? Do you feel a slight urge – or the winds of change? Does something feel out of sync in your body or your life - anything? Has the universe tapped you on the shoulder once or twice - or dropped a boulder on your doorstep? Have you been in darkness? Are you seeking just a glimmer of light?
Take and deep breath and put on the glasses through which you perceive your existence. Does your world look inviting and stimulating? Is your heart racing with pure excitement? Do you bound out of bed each day inspired by the mere thought of your own existence? Does your light shine from within?
Or does it look dark and frightening, filled with impending terror? Do you pull up the covers to delay the inevitable halfhearted step into the next dismal day?
Is your glass half-full or half-empty? What is the groundhog trying to tell you this February?
If you want to bring more light and feel more in-spired in your life, here’s an 'energy medicine' exercise to get you started…
”Heaven Rushing In”*
1. Stand tall and ground yourself by spreading your fingers on your thighs, breathing deeply, and feeling your connection to the earth as energy flows out of your fingers.
2. Take a deep breath in and open your arms wide, bringing them behind your head and down into ‘prayer’ position in front of your heart.
3. With another deep breath, open your arms wide, reaching above your head. Stretch to the heavens as it reaches back to you. Release your breath and bask in the knowledge that you are not alone in this universe and are worthy of unlimited divine blessings.
4. Finally, scoop this energy into your hands and cross your arms over your chest feeling a rush of healing energy flow into your heart.
("Eden Energy Medicine” by Donna Eden)
I dare you to step forth today to honestly examine your present life. I dare you to see your light!
Peace and blessings on your journey!