Nurturing Alchemical Solutions for Understanding Self
January 2010
“It was nothing, but nothing isn’t an absence. It’s a presence.”
~Barbara Kingsolver, Prodigal Summer
Beginning Anew
Happy New Year! Do you anticipate that the coming year will bring more blessings to your life… twice as many challenges…more opportunities? Will anything change? Will anything be different?
For certain, this, as in all new years, is a chance to leave your past in its rightful place and stand firmly in the potential of your present thoughts, emotions, and actions. This is an opportunity to assess your life - your health, your relationships, your beliefs, and your work. Ask yourself the tough question that only you can answer.
Are all areas of my life enriching my journey on earth?
If they are - then ‘Bravo’ to you! Hats off…send up the fireworks…rally the troops…begin the celebration! You are living – really living! If, however, there are some blips on the radar screen, this is the perfect time to begin to shift your compass. It really does not matter which area of your life might need some tweaking – so long as you are willing to change.
A respected teacher once told the story of a man she knew who had become a middle-aged overweight, somewhat boring husband. (She was not his wife!!) It seems that he and his wife had a discussion on the first day of the new year about what changes they would like to make in the 365 days ahead. Not wishing to rock the secure boat too much, he confessed that he would like to lose a few pounds so he would have more energy. She admitted that his goal would be a good one – and that she was taking into consideration options and goals other than physical ones. The next day he told her that he had joined a gym. She said that she was still considering...
One month later, the husband was getting up an hour earlier each day so he could go to the gym before commuting to his office. He had lost five pounds and ‘found’ extra energy. His wife was still trying to decide what to change. Two months later, he suggested that they take a vacation together in late spring in a warm location. By now, he had lost fifteen pounds and was feeling more confident about beaches and bathing suits. She decided that perhaps she should join the gym – if that was the kind of vacation he wanted. She reluctantly visited the gym three days later. Much to her surprise, people appeared to be enjoying their workouts. They were socializing while walking on treadmills, running the track, and lifting weights. Surely she would feel like an ‘outsider’, she mused. She believed she wasn’t in very good shape and she didn’t know anyone. So she decided that she would begin walking at home until she got into better shape. Then, she would join the gym. The next day when she awoke, the March winds were blowing in ‘a lion’ – not a lamb, and it was too cold for a walk outside. And the next day…and the next…and the next. Nearly a month passed before she even thought about her commitment to ‘walk’.
Her husband, on the other hand, was nearly thirty pounds lighter and beginning to enjoy increased tone in his muscles. His workouts took longer so he was getting up a bit earlier each day. On the first day of April, he told her that he was thinking of going bike riding with a group of colleagues from work that weekend. He asked her to join him. She hadn’t been on her dusty old bike in years. It still hung upside down in the garage – and honestly, she wasn’t interested in getting it down or cleaning it off. She declined, but encouraged him to go. Pretty soon he had joined a biking club and the rides were taking two to three hours each Saturday. Often the group would stop for lunch afterwards and discuss new trails to ride. Each week the husband asked his wife to ride with him. Each week she resisted – believing that she could not keep up. She still had not joined the gym and her walks had begun, but were sporadic, cumbersome and always short. There was no longer discussion of a beach vacation. In fact, the only discussions between them were brief. He arose before she did each day and headed to the gym. He biked a few miles in the early evening several nights each week to build endurance. His job performance had been ‘annually’ reviewed and commended – and he learned he was being considered for a promotion. He continued to invite her. She repeatedly declined.
One day the wife realized that she was so depressed that she needed help. She called her doctor and made an appointment. He gave her a script for an anti-depressant and suggested that she visit a psychotherapist. She agreed. During the first session she discussed how drastically her marriage and her husband had changed. She admitted that she did not even ‘know’ him anymore. In just five months, he had ‘left her in the dust’! He had a whole new life – new food choices, new interests, new friends, new excitements. He may even have a new job. She had nothing. How could this have happened in a new year?
Positive change is often difficult. It requires commitment. It requires tenacity. It demands that you follow through on your pledges and promises to yourself. There is no caution sign however, warning you that others may not like the ‘new’ you or the changes that you have made. Few are prepared for that. But changing something – anything – in a positive way changes your energy. (Negative changes can just as easily negatively affect your energy!) Energy begins to move more effectively and more efficiently. As you feel better about yourself, toxic emotional energy that may have been stored in your cell memory gets a jolt. Perhaps it’s a big enough nudge to release old messages from the past. Instead of believing that you will never succeed or that life is a chore, you see it as an exciting expedition. Rather than standing back and watching others, you engage. You challenge yourself. You succeed!
Now your whole energetic field is different. It’s buzzing! Old burdens no longer weigh you down. You feel light and confident. You sleep peacefully and awaken rested. The energy that emanates from you is transformed. Your friends and your colleagues aren’t quite sure what’s different, but they know you look happier and more self-assured.
Those closest to you, however, may not feel so optimistically about the change. At home, your energetic fields had been engaged in patterns they were familiar with – perhaps for years. Now, they ‘do not recognize’ or ‘know’ you – or your energy. They find it difficult to ‘keep up’ because positive energy is flowing all of the time. They feel ‘overwhelmed’ by your constant confident attitude. They have to make new choices. They must change or they will leave.
Perhaps the ‘leaving’ will not be physical, but emotional distance. It may be sought by suppressing emotions - through drugs or alcohol. It may involve mental distancing – through depression or over commitment to work projects. Or they may just decide that they are unwilling and unable to adjust. They may just walk away. It may be their best attempt to woo you back to the energetic being that you were before – the one they knew.
So, you may be wondering, is it worth it? If I may lose my life’s partner, my best friend or family members, do I really want to begin down that path? Can I embrace real change in my life?
Let’s go back to the first question.
Are all areas of my life enriching my journey on earth?
Now decide. One small change puts into motion the ‘gears’ of your life that may have been a bit rusty, a bit unused. But, as they get moving, others loosen up. They move too and before you know it, that lean, mean machine that you used to be in your 20’s or 30’s does not seem that far away. Those dreams, those aspirations…they are still within reach!
Anyone can change. Anyone can heal a life that is unhappy, unfulfilling, or lacking inspiration.
Today – pick one thing that you can do to improve your life. Eat differently. Exercise. Write a poem. Paint a picture. Do yoga. Cook a healthy meal. Knit a sweater. Pray. Read a book. Hug someone…..really hug them! And then notice how it feels when you do something for you….not selfishly, but selflessly. Take care of yourself – physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The better you feel, the better you will be able to care for and love others. And then they will feel better….
It’s a new year. How about making a small change that will improve your life?